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Ash. Spiritual. Happy in my own way. Writes Random Stuff. Ice Cream. Night owl. Ice Cream, again.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Enough Said. Is there a Solution?


It is indeed a sad day for all of us. One of our sisters, who was one among us had to leave the world. Well I wouldn’t say she had to leave, she was forced to leave, after the horrible treatment meted out to her. And isn’t it surprising to realize that the very people who were responsible for her condition are still present amongst us? Alive and kicking.

Over the past few days there has been an outrage in social media, condemning the incident. The blame game started and people blamed the government, the Police. Some notable citizens went further and remarked that women should be modestly dressed and went on to speak something that they had to regret later. These days anyone and everyone seem to be giving advice to others, just because a medium of reaching out to the larger audience is available.

All said and done, after all the incisive back to back interviews, discussions and debates, how different are we today? Have we been able to witness anything close to a solution for this? Has the young girl’s death not taught us a lesson? There is a lot of hue and cry but what exactly are we going to do about it? Shouldn’t justice be served and shouldn’t the culprits be punished. Shouldn’t this send a message to all the perverts there who think they can get away with anything?

I feel, every one of us is to be blamed. Men and Women. It wouldn’t be fair on my part to blame men in general. That’s like refusing to smile forever because someone made you cry long back. It is because we are insensitive to what is happening around us that some people take advantage. Oh come on, don’t get all worked up and ask me ‘How can you say we are insensitive?’ .We have been raising our voices for the girl’. 

Let me ask you something. Every day, there are thousands who travel in public transport. There are many out there, taking advantage of the proximity and creating intolerable problems for women. Some of them do not dare to open their mouth, while some of them get irritated and probably wouldn’t think twice before slapping them. Did you, as a fellow traveler, support the woman who was tormented, by at least reprimanding the individual? Did you at least show some form of support for her?

Another scenario. Two women are out shopping at a local market. Some fellow comes and tries to misbehave with one of the women. Let’s say that the two women act smart and overpower the man.  In most situations the women are left to defend for themselves to set free from the clutches of these kind of fellows. I don’t mean to say that nobody offers to help, it’s just that the proportion of those who would help people in distress, in these kinds of situations, is relatively low.

So, on an average, if someone were to target a woman, the chances of him facing some opposition would be minimum. This statistics has to be changed and the ability to change this lies in our own hands. So first let’s take a call and take a firm resolution to ensure that we extend our support to anyone who needs it, rather than just blaming others (though they deserve to be blamed).

As for the punishments and other precautionary measures, I agree with all those people who say that they culprits have to be hanged and tortured by instilling in them a sense of fear. Yes, fast track courts are required to handle all these cases quickly, but before that, let’s not forget that even we have a duty and let us do our duty well.

Looking up to the government to bring about a change is like hoping for a miracle. The chances of that happening are very bleak. This is something that concerns the citizens and if something can be done by us that would benefit others, why don’t we do that, instead of just depending on people who hold meetings and discussions and refuse to come to a conclusion.

Rest in Peace, Nirbhaya. We will not let your death go in vain. 


54 comments:

  1. Every individual must take this to his heart and things will change.. AND yeah when we start to scorn openly at injustice or even a little mishap, India will become much more safer... Nice one!

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    1. Thank you Hari. It is up to every single individual to take matters in hands and make it a safe abode.

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  2. I really don't know what to say. The incident has left me quite speechless and I think is this the so called 'developing' India. I wonder why these incidents continue to mar our country and psyche. On one hand, we celebrate the achievements of women in the boardroom and elsewhere and on the other hand there are issues like this that question our achievement. I have stopped believing in the government. But I still have hope left.

    Joy always,
    Susan

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    1. Exactly Susan. Doesn't it seem like a farce? Glorifying women in one hand and subjecting the same women to such atrocities on the other hand? How can we say that we are broad minded and a developed nation when the male ego always wants to be the better one?

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  3. Well said and clearly pointed out. When men cant voice out to support the woman next door then whats the point in so many discussions going on now? I hope that this post at least make few men reading this think about extending an arm of support when they see a female tortured.

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    1. Thank you Ganga. Every action has a genesis and we should first ask ourselves, if we are ready to support people whom we meet daily, rather than just talking about something that has gripped the nation.

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  4. since last few days..v have been hearing about so many protests..and the mass movements all across India...so many candle light marches..so many banners and posters raised,..!! forget about the future..am not sure if even the present scenario has been of any help
    i live in GOA..and many rape cases have been reported here since last few days..the newspaper is full of such incidents even when there are lakhs of people out in the streets protesting..
    i dont knw if anything will ever work to curb down this evil..
    when vl those culprits learn..:(

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    1. Exactly, that is what we have to think about. With respect to the brave soul that we had to lose, what are we going to do to make sure that no one else has to go through the same thing again? It all comes down to the attitude of the individual people.

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  5. I wish our Government acts at least now. Strict law is the need of the hour. Everyday you read new rape cases and this makes me really sad. :(

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    1. Strict Laws yes, and we need someone to monitor this and the offenders should be severely punished if the rules aren't followed.

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  6. Well said, Ashwini. Why this one struck a chord among so many posts on the matter is the way you have looked at it. I can corroborate your statement about no one -- including women, not standing up to help a victim of molestation and harassment in public transport and even in public places. I have faced it and have found support from a lone, illiterate woman vegetable vendor who was my co passenger. this happened nearly a quarter century ago, but still remains fresh in my memory.

    The fact is, Ashwini, we have the habit of standing on the periphery and acting as spectators, sometimes judges of the victim, when any wrong doing comes to our notice. We condemn the victim, especially when the perpetrator blames the victim for provoking the incident and trashes them in public. They get away, even become heroes. And the only way to do something about it, is to stand up beside the victim, even if it means bearing the brunt of the lashes. Till then, we will be mourning more girls who have been killed by such beasts.

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    1. Yes Zephyr. So much has been said and people think they can get away by speaking what they please, even if it means pointing fingers at the victim for provoking the beasts. But before talking about all this, they should ask themselves if at any point they were able to help or support those who get harassed by such kind of men on a daily basis in any public place or public transport. Unless people think and act about it and change their mindset I don;t see this going anywhere. Is this is respect we are going to give to the young brave soul?

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  7. The collective action of community members, where ever an injustice happens, is very important. Somehow, we seem have become more self-centered these days. Blame it on the lack of time or whatever, we don't spontaneously go and help people in distress. This is a bad signal for the society.

    This reminds me of a dialogue in Nazi Germany. A Jew wrote, "First they came for my relatives, I didn't do anything. Then they came for my neighbors, again I didn't do anything. Then they came for me. No one did anything" . I forgot the exact quote, but it was something like this. This is what will happen if all of us stay quiet.

    Destination Infinity

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    1. Thanks for sharing the wonderful quote. Unless and until we help those in distress, how can we expect people to come to our rescue when we are helpless?

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  8. Very well said, Ash. All of us are just talking and not actually doing much to solve the actual problem. Yes, talking and spreading the word helps but it can only go so far. We need to drastically change our mindsets if we have to tackle this issue at its root. We need to channel our anger in the right direction and sustain it to bring about any change.

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    1. Well said Akshay. We need to channel our anger in the right direction if we need to see a positive result. It also comes down to changing the mindset of the people who are amongst us!

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  9. Ashwini, it is time the attitude towards women change in this country if something visible can start happening.I agree with your sentiments fully !!

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    1. Thank you Sir. Yes, it is high time we see proper action being taken.

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  10. I wish something concrete is done this time and there is no more Nirbhaya in future.....

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  11. Many incidents like this happened in the past, but in a state or lesser community. This is one incident which shook the nation as a whole. And this will be forgotten soon too. All we can do is pray for her soul.

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    1. While our prayers remain with her, We should ensure that it doesn't repeat and take steps to ensure that!

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  12. I have posted a detailed reply to this post, Ashwini. Do read and comment.

    http://cybernag.in/2012/12/of-hypocrisy-selfishness-cowardice-and-more/

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    1. Thank you Cybernag. Every word of it was true! So true.

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  13. I dont think we can rest the whole blame on men only..men are given birth and brought up by women only.. we raise them and make them a responsible citizen..

    As for standing up, we have become very self centred, unless something concerns us directly, we dont want to spend our time, and if some woman tries to be brave, other women only ridicule her..bahut apne aap kpo heroine samjhti ha...

    I think we must take a resolution that we shall not let a woman be disrespected in our are..our family or neighbourhood, and everyone needs to convince 10 people to think the same...this way we can slowly bring a change..

    I doubt that those all who protested are respecting women in their life..its easy to protest but difficult to behave..

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    1. Exactly. No point blaming just the men for this. If the right values are not inculcated from a young age, this is what happens.

      Yes, it all begins from our community, from our family, despite others trying to put us down with their words. Well said Renu :-)

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  16. Bang on, Ashwini. Bang on. We need to help each other out. We cannot be bystanders and watchers, and expect the government to bring about a miraculous change.

    We also need to BE the change by imbibing and following a fairer and better way of thinking and behaviour. Do read my views on this... http://e-pinion.blogspot.com

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    1. Yes, we do have to help each other out, if at all we are concerned about the change!

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  17. Right Ashwini. The time for talks should be over by now. Its time to act. I personally feel the blame game should stop. The problem lies with each and every one of us (as you pointed out). We allow such a shameful thing to happen and be quiet about it. "Chalta hai" attitude should be permanently eliminated. I read this somewhere and I liked it - "RIP Nirbhaya, but we won't"..

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    1. Yes Binu, everyone of us is to be blamed, not just a select few. It is time we stopped talking on and on and get down to action.

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  18. Wish you and your family a very blessed 2013!
    Ashok

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  19. YES there is a Solution, Each individual does something - ANYTHING. this is all we do talk talk talk and more talk it has been going on for ages.
    You , me everyone has to wake up, you see something wrong happening take a stand, the problem is that people are not bothered, Look what happened with ANNA HAZARE movement, its gone , Look what happened to the guwahati episode no one remembers..

    Its not the Rapists who are at fault, IT IS US who are aat fault the people who stood on the Guwahati road seeing the girl , the people who were on the Delhi roads who saw a injured girl and a boy thrown on the road laying there , NO ONE CAME FORWARD.. and this is what makes the bad people stronger , they know no one will do anything.

    The poor girl has lost her life, and what did we do , yes there were rally's and what not in delhi, I doubt if that will help, so many more got injured , a Police man died.. Then the blame game starts .. We try to find someone to blame ..
    but no one comes out and says its ME to blame .. yes it is each individual to be blamed including me...
    Bikram's

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    1. True Bikram. Even a small thing which we might do to help others might have a big impact. We should let our support to others be known so that the trouble makers think twice before trying to be smart. I totally agree with what you have said. We stood silent, just seeing everything, it is all our fault.

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  20. I think the biggest problem lie in the mindset of the people. And it is not going to change overnight. We still differentiate between a boy and a girl. It has to change!

    It's not the first rape case and it was not the last. They are happening at frenetic rate all over the country. From the government to police to the rapists, everyone know that people will forget every thing soon. That's how Anna Hazare movement died. There are many examples. We as citizen of India have to make sure that movement doesn't die this time. If one can't attend the protest, its ok.. spread the word..spread the awareness.. at least this we can do?

    And I hope government would come up with some thing that would at least instill a fear in their minds. Although I have lost all the hope on the government long time back.

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    1. Yes Prasoon, the mindset is what has to change. It takes its time, but we should make sure we sow the seeds for the change.

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  21. Very thoughtful post, Ashwini. Fighting and standing up for oneself and friends should start at a very small age. Parents should imbibe it in their kids right from a very young age. People try to shun away when a trouble is at sight. If they do it when it is related to power, I agree that time, money and many other things matter. But small things like standing up for each other in public transits, bus stops those are the minimum things one person can do for other. If we don't even stand up for these small things, it will be like what we are facing today. Coming onto the streets to fight for our rights and what an invaluable price we paid for it.

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    1. Thank you!Yes, as you said, we have to make sure parents inculcate this habit in their children, right from the age when they start learning what is right and wrong! All we can do in a small way to our fellow human beings, is to help them when they need us to most.

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  22. A post with a question Ash, asking everyone to take a pledge to stand up and , and also support others in trouble.


    As Found in Folsom, has pointed out it is all in the upbringing and mindset. A difficult situation for our caste/culture/blah blah based society. But it can be taught in schools, it can be aired on the media.

    How many of us are going to write to Justice Verma Commission, I wonder.

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    1. Yes, I agree with her thoughts completely. And yes, if people have so many suggestions, valuable suggestions, they should make an effort to send it across.

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  23. I agree with you. Don't have much to say as I too have been conditioned to stay out of trouble's way.

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  24. Very thought provoking post Ashwini. We all have been conditioned to look the other way when something is happening. How ironical that kissing in public in India is considered obscene but it is ok to witness someone groping a girl.

    I think we need to make our children aware at young age that it is not ok.

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    1. Yes, absolutely. We need to inculcate that from a very young age.

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  25. There was a time in Calcutta when I only had to raise my voice and 10 people used to come running to see what happened. Sometimes they would help, sometimes they were just there to enjoy the tamasha, but I felt safety in numbers. I don't know what happened now. All I can say is that I promise to raise my sons to respect women. And, I promise to raise my voice to help another in trouble.

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    1. We need people like you. Kudos to your spirit!

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