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Ash. Spiritual. Happy in my own way. Writes Random Stuff. Ice Cream. Night owl. Ice Cream, again.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Being let down by ourselves!


Naina's mom had no idea why her daughter was in a grumpy mood. Then..


Comic Strip created using Pixton

Some people might fight this funny or would conclude that Naina is a drama queen.

I've been in the same situation as Naina, at many times and I totally relate to her reaction. 

Sometimes, when we put in our best and the result is not cent percent, but still somewhere close to it, the heart feels happy about the result, but the mind years for what has been missed. It's the very thought of coming so close, yet being so far that really hurts. Though we try to console ourselves with what is in our hands, we end up feeling frustrated thinking of what we've missed.

A bright student might aim for a 100 and get disappointed with a 90. An average student might aim for a 70 and be extremely happy with an 80. That's the difference. 

Having said this, we should also learn to appreciate ourselves for what we've done. Most often, we end up being very hard on ourselves and end up losing faith in our abilities. The irritation of having missed out something small yet trivial should not outweigh the happiness and contentment of having pulled of a difficult job.

Striking the right balance, is the key.  It comes with experience.


74 comments:

  1. Hmm...sort of helps me in my present situation. :P

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  2. Mostly people are disappointed with themselves. It could actually raise them up or tear them down. It is important to use that in the positive direction and get better each day. Great post! :)

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    1. Yes. Aiming for the skies is good, but at times we tend to be rigid. Unless we motivate ourselves, there is no better way. Thank you :-)

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  3. Very true. We should lesen not to be too hard on ourselves

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  4. Lol. As an educator, I can relate. I fine many students to go either way.

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    1. I'm sure that you of all people, would be able to relate to it. I guess this is mostly because of the pressure people around us, impose. It should be corrected right at the age when people start learning the realities of life.

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  5. Setting higher goals is good but sometimes just missing by a whisker is not something to feel perturbed and loose peace of mind, Ashwini!

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    1. Very true sir. Aiming for the skies is good, but as you said that should not make one lose their peace of mind. Thank you Sir :-)

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  6. I generally give it my best shot and not really bothered about results. But this can happen. One thing that I observed is, we are more open minded when we are not performing that well and our ego (somewhat) shoots up when we do.

    Destination Infinity

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    1. Sometimes I try not to worry about the results, but they have a way of reminding us every now and then. And I agree with your thoughts, the more we come to terms with our performance, we tend to accept them better. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. :-)

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  7. I nevr got it with age too..in my family it was me getting upset over my daughter missing one or two marks:)

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    1. Haha, I guess some things are just meant to be left that way :-)

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  8. True story. Expectations kill, and disappointments are good only if we get inspired by them to try harder next time around. That's the difference that really sets a winner apart. Great post, Ash.

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    1. Yes. Unreal expectations disappoint people more than anything. If it is making a positive difference, getting disappointed is good. But taking way too seriously does affect us. Thanks Arti :-)

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  9. I agree with your last line absolutely.

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  10. This is so true! It hurts when we get a 98 or a 99! It really does! A great post. :)

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    1. And now we should try not to be overly bothered by it :-) Thank you :-)

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  11. It comes with experience. Indeed.

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  12. Sometimes I have this itch to be perfect all the time and it's damn tiring too :) I totally agree with you, it's tough to be happy with 98 or 99 where as just pass marks like 60 would have made us happier :)

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    1. Trying to be perfect is good as long as we aren't obsessed with it. Thank you :-)

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  13. It is times like this, that one should go through some inspirational stories of small people coming up with great idea after many years of struggle, if they had given up on themselves easily, we wouldn't have ever heard of telephone or light bulbs etc.
    It is the mind set, that needs to be changed in ourselves, and I agree we must appreciate ourselves first.

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    1. So true Rama. The mindset has to change and it should start from within :-)

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  14. Totally agree. There's no point being harsh with ourselves. Afterall we've attempted to put 100% of our best!!

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    1. Yes, we need not get complacent but we shouldnt be heart-broken either.

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  15. I was always the average type..never thought abt this actually. but u have a point thr! Balance is essential!

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  16. Been there. I still can't forgive myself for not scoring 100 and ending up with 98 in my finals. Even today I feel bad when I think about it. But you are right, we should not be very hard on ourselves.

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    1. I used to feel bad about it too, but then I realized its not worth it :-)

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  17. What struck you to write this post, Ashwini? :)

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    1. I was/am in such a situation :-), Not with marks though.

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  18. Wow this post of yours is so so close to me as well.. I ended up blog on similar lines
    http://ramya-chitrana.blogspot.in/2014/01/mind-my-heart.html

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    1. Just read it Ramya. Sometimes the heart refuses to accept what the mind rightfully states! Thank you :-)

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  19. Felt like this many times and as you said, handling things comes with experience.

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    1. So many times. Wish I could accumulate on the experience soon :-)

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  20. Happens with me. I feel not just disturbed but even angry with myself when I miss the target by a maximum of two or three marks And no matter how much I try to think of the positive side of having scored reasonable marks, mind would eventually find a way to sulk over he missed few details.
    I totally agree with you, may be I will get over with it with more experience ..:)
    Thanks.

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    1. As I had said, the very thought of having missed a point or two outweighs the happiness. :-)

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  21. True Ashwini. Self-doubt should not weigh us down,
    How & why will the world recognize us if we allow ourselves to be let down by ourselves?
    Nicely expressed:)

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    1. Thank you Anita :-)

      Yes, exactly my point, if we let ourselves down, we wouldn't be able to motivate ourselves to perform better.

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  22. I agree with you completely. It happens to me all the time and has happened my whole life. I have to careful to be encouraging to my kids and not feel deflated when they don't get a perfect score. Celebrating what they have achieved and being encouraging so they continue to strive for excellence has been my goal. It takes experience because when I was younger I wouldn't accept anything less than perfection from myself. If I didn't get it, I mourned as if it was the end of the world. I didn't want to be that way for my kids.

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    1. Yes, specially for beginners it is important that they celebrate even the small victories to help them gain momentum.

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  23. Very good point mentioned here.
    Children need to be told this more often.

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  24. Striking the right balance is key. I was very much like the girl in the cartoon, but my own advice to my kids is to be happy they've done so well. And not to compare themselves with anyone else except themselves.

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    1. Yes, we should try and stay away from awful comparisons. They aren't just worth it.

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  25. True! I have been there. Sometimes you are not satisfied with little when you have given your all.

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    1. All of us have been there. Its time we started appreciating what is in our hands :-)

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  26. Very perceptive post,aim high but if you fail,pinpoint your error and try again--frustration is not the answer.

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    1. Frustration is just not the answer. Very aptly worded :-)

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  27. Interesting post. At least, Naina had an understanding mother. Therefore, Naina is lucky. I have seen parents when the kids bring home a score of 98/100, they would list the names of a few of the kids classmate and say - she got 99, he got 100, he also got 99. So you are only 4th. That is bad.

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    1. Yes, most of the time it's the parents who have this attitude.

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  28. Expectations are important as far as reaching goals is concerned.. But the results are just a mere representation of how we performed given the constraints etc.. Naina's disappointment is justified but will propel her to perform even better! :)

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    1. As long as the disappointment motivates one to perform better, that's good :)

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  29. You know after reading the strip,i was like "yea, hell she is a Drama Queen" .. but well what you said is true. Its definitely about creating the right balance. I have been an average student, and have been happy with 80 % . But yes, the frustration of not being able to get there, when you have put in your bestest best is irritating and definitely annoying .

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    1. It definitely is. I've been through that :-)

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  30. I know - sometimes I also get into this all or nothing mentality.

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  31. Agreed.. but Balance.. that's what is the most difficult to find, isnt it?

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    1. Naturally. The obvious answers are the toughest :-)

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  32. Like you said...balance is the key!

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