A few days back, I overheard a group of girls talking about one particular girl. The news was that the girl being spoken about hated flowers. She hated the smell and sight of flowers. Initially they thought it was one of those things which people normally do to get attention, but then they realized it made her very uncomfortable. Curious to know why she was affected by something as wonderful as flowers known for its visual appeal and aroma, one of the girls approached her and asked her the reason. This is what she had said,
‘I remember the day our house was full of flowers, that was the last day my Mother was home.’
Ram hated bright open spaces. He always preferred to occupy a dark corner wherever he went, if at all he went. He ensured his room was always dark, with just enough light for him to wander around without tripping over anything. Over time, he became a recluse and almost cut-off communication with others. He liked spending time by himself, staring from the balcony of his dark room.
He looked at his wheelchair and the prosthetic legs and wondered how different life would have been had he not met with an accident. If only the light from the Lorry had not blinded him that fateful night.
All of us have our own battles to fight almost every single day. Of course, we are all human beings and its only natural that our lives are full of ups and down. Yet sometimes we forget that others around us, have their own battles to fight and we end up with assumptions and biased opinions even without knowing the big picture. We resort to generalizations under the assumption that what is good for one, would probably be good for all.
‘Be kinder than necessary for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle’
Take the quoted instances for examples. We generalize that people like flowers. Who wouldn’t like flowers, is what we might think. There might be people who might not like flowers even without a reason. It’s their choice and they really don’t have to justify that to everyone. At least here the girl had a reason to say she hated flowers. My point is, even if she did not have a reason, it’s none of our problem. In the second instance where the guy lost his legs in an accident, it isn’t common that you find people with an aversion for brightness, but it did make a big difference for him and his wheelchair is a reminder of that.
As ironical as it may seem, we should avoid generalizations. People may or may not have a reason to justify their choices. As long as it doesn’t interfere with us, I don’t think we have any right to question them. While some people are open about their lives, some people aren’t comfortable sharing every detail of their lives with others and hence remain ‘isolated’ from the public point of view. We might pass off the cuff remarks and forget about it the next instant, but sometimes it pains to hear such remarks thrown at us, even when one is not at fault.
We don’t have to necessarily agree or disagree with other's decisions irrespective of how logical it may or may not seem. The least we can do is to respect them!