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Ash. Spiritual. Happy in my own way. Writes Random Stuff. Ice Cream. Night owl. Ice Cream, again.

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Playing by the Rules of Life!

I have a question for you – Do you know the rules of Life?

If you ask me to answer, I’d say there are none. You just play your game and make up your own rules. That brings me to the next question - How do you deal people who keep telling that you're wrong and that you will have to change your path and rules? I’ve made up 2 rules for those folks:

Rule #1: Ignore other's rules if it doesn’t make sense to you.

Rule #2: Meticulously follow Rule #1

Of course, there will be a few others who might be genuinely concerned for you and may try to put their points across in a subtle manner. It all comes down to going by our instincts on distinguishing the well-meaning and the not-so-well-meaning ones. 

Image Courtesy : Google
So, what’s the problem?

The main problem here is, some people around us hate our guts and are completely against us having our own game and rules. First they try to convince you, and then they ridicule you and then they try imposing their rules on you. The bad news here is, they sometimes never give up. But the good news is, you don’t really have to bother.

Let’s take our families for instance. I’ve come across parents who speak so much about empowering young girls and raising them as independent individuals and then go on to create a big fuss because their daughters demand the same. I’ve seen people convincing other girls’ parents to send their daughters abroad for studies but when it comes to their own daughters, they wouldn’t want them to step out of the city. Isn’t all this supposed to begin at home, begin with us, before we blame the society?

Many people consider themselves experts in judging and commenting on other’s lives. I’ve seen people (especially women) gossip endlessly about other women who are successful and are open about what they want in life. These people around shift focus from their lives and start judging every single aspect of our successful heroines. Not that our heroines would be bothered with all the behind-the-scene dramas, but why are we judging people who have every right to live by a different set of rules?

I’m not generalizing here, but when we have so much going on about allocating a day to celebrate ‘Women’ we might as well try and do justice to it in some small way, all through the year. The onus is on both men and women – to treat women well. People often forget that respecting women is not something that only men should take care of, even women should learn to respect other women. (Dear Women, if we don’t stand up for our sisters, who else will!)

Keep Calm and Ignore!

I’ve often heard people complain how badly they’ve been treated by family/peers. Somehow I always feel that in such situations, the mistake is ours. We are letting others treat us badly. Unless we make things clear and stop tolerating such treatment this just wouldn’t come to an end. Stop complaining, voice out your thoughts, stop tolerating others’ nonsense, stand up for yourself, be firm and learn the art of saying No (or ditch the art and just say No. Simple!). Don’t allow others to influence your thoughts too much, or for their words to affect you unnecessarily. It’s their right to speak, it’s your right to ignore. 

At the same time, just because you are a woman don’t expect favors or demand others do something for you. You are a woman, and if you want something you are capable of doing it. If you are unable to, request for help, but don’t demand that others do something for you. Please don’t behave badly in front of the world and spoil it for people who are doing a brilliant job living their lives as per their wishes and yet not hurting the sentiments of others.

Your life is first about You

If you want to see the change, be the change. Inspire people to follow and let your actions do the work – whether it is the way you treat others or the way you would like to be treated. Remember all of us are here on our own missions and we have much better things to focus on than getting involved unnecessarily in others’ lives. We are running towards a goal that others might not be even aware of. So let’s focus on what we've planned for us. Let’s not try to deviate just to please everyone. It's impossible to try to please everyone, every time. You don’t have to and you don’t need to either!


13 comments:

  1. Nice post. Loved reading this. I have seen some women use the "woman card" when it is to their advantage.

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    1. Yea, when we speak of equality why use a situation to one's advantage! Thank you :-)

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  2. The art of saying "no' or a simple 'No' plays a big role, in every sphere of life. I understand that it is sometimes difficult to let out a blatant negativity, but we can at least try. That helps a lot.... :-)

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    1. Oh yes! I'd rather make peace with myself than go out of the way (against my wishes) to go and help someone. And learning to say No does come with experience :-)

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  3. If you ask me, i would also say Yes!! there are no rules of life, Many people try hard to live life designed by others..Rightly you have put "let’s focus on what we've planned for us".. Nice post Ashwini..

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    1. Seldom do two individuals have the same path and the same goal. Just because something works for someone, doesnt mean it is the panacea. Thank you :)

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  4. I have read a quote somewhere " a man cannot ride your back unless it's bent "... So yes we need to stand up and shake off those unnecessarily trying to mess with us :)

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    1. Very true. When someone takes too much interest in our lives, when it is not called for, it's obvious they dont have a life and they treat our lives as their hobby.

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  5. I feel nervous when people start treating me well and start being nice to me. It's a sure shot sign of a nefarious scheme they're about to unfold. If they are normal - judging, criticizing, you-ll-never-be-good-for-anything, I ignore them as usual and I am at peace :P :D

    Destination Infinity

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    1. Hahaha. Sometimes I get worried too when people treat me in a very nice way, when they normally dont :-D. And yes, Keep calm and ignore is the mantra :-)

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  6. I like your two rules!! Everyone should live that way!

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    1. Well, only if they like them as well ;-)

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