Disappointments come in many ways. Losing your backup is one of them.
Blame it on my OCD for discarding old stuff that I no longer use, I apply the same rule for my phone. I delete apps that I don’t use, delete old files that I've backed up, clear caches and temp folders to ensure better performance. A month back, I noticed that some app was eating up my memory. With hardly a few hundred MB left, I decided it was time for some clean-up. After having tried every possible method to clear up memory, I realized I was going nowhere. So, I took a backup of my phone in iTunes, deleted all data and restored it as a new phone.
My problem was solved, or so I thought.
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Just as I was jumping with joy on having tackled the issue, I realized that there was a problem with my WhatsApp backup. I couldn't restore my messages. I was surprised to see myself feeling so worried about losing those messages. My mind did not give it too much of a thought, but the heart was terribly upset. I don’t normally save messages, but when I do (like the ones from my mom, sis and our immediate family group), I cherish them.
I've spent hours reading old messages, right from the day we'd started chatting. Mostly it would involve asking mom what she was going to prepare for lunch/dinner and what shopping we should do and where we should eat during the weekend. With my sis, it was more of catching up. I would update her with all the events that happens at home (like who visited us, what sweets they'd brought, whether it was her favourite, what awkward questions they asked) and she would tell me about all her latest trends in her place and how she found a new place for me to try when I visit her. The best part was when mom had visited my sis and the three of us used to chat for hours together when sis and I were both at work and mom was taking care of my nephew. All that, was now gone. Though I remember what the messages used to be, nothing beats the joy of reading old messages from loved ones.
For some reason, my friend found it amusing that those messages were so close to me. She tried to console me by saying, I could always start again and start saving messages but somehow the heart yearned for the good old days and conversations. Be it during the times when sis was staying alone, or when I was staying alone, or when all of us - me, mom, dad and sis were in 4 different time zones, we would all catch up on WhatsApp and it never felt like we were far away. All this was possible only because of a medium that gave all of us a chance to stay connected despite the distance. Not that, I read those messages every day, I would randomly read them when I had considerable time for myself and check out videos of my nephew saying ‘A for Apple’ but the very thought of not being able to afford that luxury anymore made me feel very sad.
It was then I realized that, we always prepare ourselves for big disappointments in life that we forget how to deal with things which might not be quantifiable measure on a scale, but which still has a bigger impact.
As human beings, we are programmed to deal with success and failures and in the long run, we learn to handle happiness and disappointments as well. That’s when we define a threshold – when things fall below a threshold, we don’t bother, but when it goes over the threshold, we panic. But the problem here is the generalization. Theoretically it might work fine, but only when something happens in reality, small or big, we can analyse its impact. That is why we aren’t as disappointed as we expect ourselves to be when some important things don’t go our way and we get extremely disappointed when small some trivial underestimated issues goes out of hand.
After all, it’s the small things in life that matter the most!